Who Get’s To Be In Your Life?
It’s that time again! Every year on December 31st, my good friend, Ashley, takes inventory of the core relationships in her life. She creates three categories: friends, acquaintances and sphere of influence, dropping names under each title as she sits and reflects on the preceding twelve months.
When analyzing the names, Ashley says, “My goal is to determine whether each one of these people are living up to my expectations for who gets to be in my life.” Notice she said “gets to be” in her life because she knows that her time, energy and presence is a gift to be cherished. Ashley reflects on whether they have been givers or takers in her life. She asks core questions, like whether she is energized or drained after each conversation. Are they depositing wisdom, sound advice, opportunities or encouragement into her life, or constantly making withdrawals? And, by the end of her exercise, Ashley has a better understanding of who gets to go into the New Year and who must be left behind.
Its important to remember that some people will only come into your life for a reason or a season. The idea of leaving someone behind does not mean that you never speak to them again, unless they are just truly toxic, but it means that you now define for yourself how you will allow them to utilize your time, energy and resources, if at all. As the Bible suggests in Proverbs 22:10, you have to “Kick out the troublemakers and things will quiet down; you need a break from the bickering and griping!”
Stop and ask yourself, “Do I need a break from some of these people?” . . . “Do they really get to be in my life using my valuable time and energy?”
Even before the end of the year became just a stones throw away, I personally began identifying folks and even situations that just didn’t get to stay in my life. Life is extremely too short and has way too much to offer to be bothered with nonsense. So, thanks to Ashley, every year since 2007, I make my list and check it twice! I’m also making sure that I AM the friend that does make deposits and not withdrawals, as well as one that offers sound wisdom and advice. How about you?
If your network determines your net worth, who are you allowing in your life?